This fucking kid, are you kidding me? I swear, Hunch, if he pulls this fucking shit again, we’re booting him right out of the program. And, you know what, if he tries to use it in a fucking college essay, I will take it upon myself to make goddamn sure that HR breaks protocol and says, no, in fact, that fucking kid was kicked out of the fucking program for being a fucking asshole. Again.

I mean, look, the ambassador is a pompous blowhard, I get that. I think we all get that. I think we all get that, actually, most diplomatic events are completely mindnumbingly boring, and everyone there is boring for days, and no one actually wants to be there except to try to make contacts with important people or whatever, or in our case, present our organization and our country’s best fucking face to people who could make life fucking difficult if they wanted to. You do fucking realize the international fucking community fucking exists and happens to have fucking news media to sway popular fucking opinion?

For someone who begged to be there, that little asshole sure didn’t put a lot of effort into making a good impression. Addendum: He didn’t actually beg to be there. Addendum: Thank you for that, Griff, I’m sure that’s a really fucking important distinction. Why the hell did his dad work so hard to get him onto the list in the first fucking place, then? Addendum: I was trying to get him to see a little bit of the bigger picture, and I would appreciate you not calling my kid an asshole. Addendum: Well, I would appreciate your kid not being an asshole! Addendum: Sorry, Hunch. That was uncalled for.

Whatever. I was on duty. He was on duty. He should’ve been on his best behavior like we all know Hunch told him to be, and not making fun of both my name and my costume, but whatever, the kid is a little shit. We all know that. (Addendum: Also, your name and your costume both pretty much suck.) We’re mingling, watching for anything suspicious (Addendum: Not drinking, too, I hope? Addendum: Skyrocket wasn’t, not that underage. I may not have been supervising Top Dog, but trust me, I was supervising the kids. Addendum: Hey, Coach, does that mean you let the seventeen-year-olds drink, or what? Addendum: To all interested parties: No, I do not let any of the kids drink.) and even though he’s meant to be checking the exits, he’s checking out the guests instead. And I do mean checking out, in at least a couple instances. Whatever. I had the exits covered, plus whoever else was there, not the point. The point is, who the hell decides a snail needs to explode?

Addendum: The point is, this kid is completely incompetent, and we really should drop him from the program, punishment aside. It’s not like he can’t join up in a few years when he gains some perspective. Addendum: Will they still let him in? We all know who he is. Addendum: We’ll let him in. We’ll want proof that he’s cleaned up his act, but we’ll let him in. (Or put in a good word.)

So he makes nice, and, mark my words, this kid is going to make a fucking amazing con man someday, and snags a snail for the ambassador, because look, we’ve got to try it, it’s so great. Mine did not explode, by the way, so thanks for that at least, you little bastard.

That shit was not fucking subtle! The guy got third degree burns (Addendum: they were only second degree, and even then only along one finger. Addendum: Oh, so that makes it fucking okay then?), okay, that was a massive pyrotechnic display. It’s not something you can play off all that fucking easily, not when it’s that noticeable of a power, not when it looks pretty fucking unique from where I’m standing, where, hey, it looked like fucking fireworks. So the whole room is lit up in dazzling fucking technicolor, and who’s standing there with a smug fucking smirk on his stupid face? (Addendum: It did look pretty spectacular.)

Ambassadors toppling like fucking dominoes, champagne everywhere, broken glass flying, fist fights started, and it’s a goddamn good thing someone turned on the fucking suppressor fields, because a couple of us react instinctually, and I’d include myself among them if I hadn’t been about to fucking knock him out the second I caught up to him. And that’s what, thousands worth of damage or something? And what if someone fucking filmed it or some shit?

Addendum: no evidence of recordings Addendum: We found one, but it wasn’t distributed at all. Confiscated. On an unrelated note, we’ve made yet another attempted blackmail arrest.

So everyone’s shoving everyone around, but at least there’s no powers flying, and I swear to fuck, I saw the kid steal a wallet. I don’t know whose wallet, I was trying to do fucking crowd control like I was supposed to, but the fucking thief stole the fucking thing. Also, he smashed the other champagne fountain, even if he says he ‘triped’. Addendum: I got it back. We’ve returned it. Addendum: Yeah, a couple hundred dollars short, I bet. Addendum: He’s grounded forever, what more do you want?

Addendum: Top Dog, you are super shit at writing reports. I have no idea why they let you attend major events like this. Addendum: Look, you want a fucking legible report, go read Coach’s. He was supposed to be the one in fucking charge. Addendum: I thought you were supposed to be in charge? Addendum: Of the kids. He was in charge of the kids.

Addendum: How many thousands of damage? Addendum: Don’t worry, insurance covered it. Addendum: Ours, or the hotels? Addendum: Man, does anyone think we would be this blasé if ours had to cover it? Addendum: A whole bunch of different sources. We covered about $500, I think. Addendum: If you’re worried, not that anyone seems to be, good look on you, guys, there weren’t any serious injuries sustained. Addendum: There were four healers there, and that’s just counting the local players. Of course there weren’t any serious injuries. Addendum: I meant before the healers. Addendum: Yeah, and I meant they would clean it up either way. And they did. Problem solved.

Addendum: Problem not solved. Problem still a pyromaniac in the program.

Addendum: Thought the problem was an international incident?

Addendum: I thought the problem was that Hunch’s kid is an asshole.

Addendum: Is there any reason this thing is classified level 3? Addendum: Yeah, it’s so Prime Mover can’t access the file. He’s friends with Skyrocket. Addendum: I can still access the file. Addendum: Yeah, but you’re not about to tell him what it says, are you? Plus Top Dog’s not exactly going to classify it 8, is he? Addendum: Actually, I was the one who bumped it up to level 3, you’re all very welcome. Also, do you think you could be any more vague? Do you even once specify who the ‘little bastard’ is? Name the asshole.

Addendum: All parties successfully convinced this was a simple accidental use of powers. Now a lot of people think our training program is for shit, and we may lose funding, but there are no civil or criminal charges pending. Also, Skyrocket better pay back costs. Addendum: I thought it was only $500? Addendum: about $670, plus damage to some of you guys’ personal items, totaling ~$3180 Addendum: He’ll pay back costs.

Addendum: Someone clean this shit up before Leroy sees it, goddamn.

Addendum: Also, someone add a fucking header, for fuck’s sake, you can’t even tell which ballroom it was in.

Addendum: Guys, why does this file still exist?

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