Attention all staff: this is currently and will remain an open file. Crimes listed will reflect those with outstanding warrants or scheduled court dates, not those in which she is a suspect. Files for closed cases will be sent to Parallel Action Taskforce and redacted. All legal action will be taken through Parallel Action Taskforce.

Addendum: because if you want that paperwork filled out, you’re going to have to do it yourself! Enjoy talking to the fair representation for parallels initiatives, that should be fun. Stop asking stupid questions, people.

Note: All agents are reminded not to refer to Spiderbitch as a vigilante in public or while operating in any official capacity.


Guidelines for interviewing witnesses:

  • Always make sure to familiarize yourself with their home protocols and customs (especially as regards law enforcement)
  • When they claim something is a point of etiquette, double-check
  • If the witness is being threatening, be sure to tell them explicitly. If they continue to be threatening, remind them that you will defend yourself, and be clear on the penalties for assault and destruction of property. Remember: the witness is not a suspect, so explain things politely.
  • Be sure to use the broad-spectrum suppression fields. If necessary, requisition a magic suppression field. Magic suppression fields are required for all magical witnesses.
  • Do not comment on the witness’s clothes, possessions, or body language. Parallel experts or espers will analyze these. Notes on such are discouraged.
  • Do speak slowly and literally. We can understand each other if we try!


Guidelines for interrogating suspects:

  • Know their body language. Learn to mimic it.
  • Know their culture. Dress accordingly. Use props as necessary.
  • Know their language quirks. Be able to identify tones, formality, sarcasm, subtle distinctions in meaning or intent.
  • Always double-check all safety precautions. If you’re not sure whether you need a safety precaution, sign it out anyway.
  • Always work with an expert in that culture unless you or your partner is a relevant esper. If one (or both) of you is a relevant esper, don’t forget to request an observer!


Guidelines for public statements:

  • Do not use loaded language. (See list of Words and Phrases to Avoid)
  • Do not treat parallel immigrants as a unit. Do not suggest or encourage the interpretation of them as in any way working together or conspiring.
  • If an interviewer continues to insist they’re conspiring, refer them to PAT.
  • Do not acknowledge parallel vigilantism as vigilantism. Stress the idea that the subject in question comes from a culture where the law and enforcement of the law may not be the same, and that they may not know they’re committing crimes. Do not suggest the subject is not responsible for these crimes. Be careful not to condone or excuse any vigilante actions.
  • Do work closely with Parallel Houses and activist groups. Do show and encourage positive feelings towards these organizations.
  • Do not make statements of fact. If asked directly, use hedging language such as “I think” or “I’d guess”, or attribute the information to an outside source.


Remember, Spiderbitch is from:

  • A world that does have extranormal abilities. While typically gained through unregulated means, they are generally carefully regulated. While she has provided us with a partial profile, licensing and regulation of extranormal abilities is a point of contention on her world. It’s best not to threaten legal action.
  • A world that does not have magic. Spiderbitch does not have magic. She may sometimes claim she does; she’s attempting to scare you or throw you off balance.
  • A world that has a higher level of technology than our own. Spiderbitch has access to a lot of unique tools and weapons and can create more given sufficient time and equipment. Be wary of any inventions she claims to have, but be aware she is still constrained by the laws of physics.
  • A world that is extremely sensitive to touch. Always ask Spiderbitch before touching her.
  • A world that finds lack of eye contact very rude. Make sure to always look Spiderbitch in the eye, before and during any interaction with her. Lack of eye contact may make Spiderbitch refuse to talk to you. Do be aware that prolonged eye contact may still be regarded as unsettling or otherwise creepy.
  • A world that has taboos on a large subset of words/topics. (See list of Words Not to Use around Spiderbitch, Topics Not to Use around Spiderbitch, Words and Topics Similar to those Spiderbitch Finds Distressing) Make sure to avoid using or even referencing them. She will probably disengage, but may become angry and confrontational. Particularly, be careful not to remark on her clothing or emotional state.
  • A world where dating and romance are not acceptable. Do not flirt with Spiderbitch. She will be shocked and offended.
  • A parallel America. She’s used to a certain number of freedoms, and does not take kindly to freedoms she perceives as being infringed on. Watch for her at protests. She has been known to hire out her protection for demonstrations and events.
  • A city. She won’t get lost easily, and she knows how to evade. She can hide or disguise herself in under a minute and easily disappear into a crowd. Do not attempt to track Spiderbitch if she does so; it’s a waste of time and resources.
  • The same world as Scarlet Woman. Do not try to pit them against each other; do not try to use them as bargaining chips on each other; do not try to use them as examples of role models for each other. They are aware of each other and in fairly steady contact. If you have trouble getting in touch with one, they may be able to pass messages to each other.


The media and Spiderbitch:

  • Again, do not publicly refer to her as a vigilante.
  • Spiderbitch is known to do interviews. These are all scheduled through parallel representatives, and are thus subject to a whole legal mess. Unless she is currently engaged in violence against another person, do not interrupt an interview, even with a warrant. If you disregard this advice, know that the agency won’t represent you in any civil suit, or any criminal suit less than a felony. If at all possible, don’t appear anywhere near the interview area, or anywhere else she may be audio recorded. Consider arranging a meeting through her representatives.
  • Spiderbitch does not appear on her TV show. She is neither one of the actors nor one of the stunt doubles. If you have to execute a warrant, do so politely. They do not know her; they cannot contact her; try not to interrupt the filming.
  • If you see someone dressed as Spiderbitch, do not engage. Various performance arts and social movements have taken to dressing as her and posing around various cities. If they are currently engaged in crimes, feel free to apprehend. In that case, it’s probably not actually Spiderbitch. Addendum: make sure to mention that it’s a copycat to any news crews, whether you think it is or not. You don’t need your face all over a scandal. Note: if it is actually Spiderbitch, make sure you contact a parallel representative immediately. Check the roster to see who’s on call.

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